Sunday, June 13, 2010

Us Magazine

Hello! Happy weekend everyone! It's been a fun one. I attended a college alumni picnic, our neighbors hosted a Minute to Win It party (even if my performance was lack luster, it was still fun on steroids), and we're off to a nephew's birthday party shortly. On the flip side, my subscription to Us is all goofed up. I really thought I had renewed, but it stopped showing up in my mailbox. Clearly, getting that straightened out needs to top the to-do list this week. Until then, I will happily buy my copy at Target (even if I have to pay the cover price).

So Kendra is on the cover due to her "Sex Tape Scandal." Shall we take a moment's pause and break this down?

1. If you are a playboy bunny, isn't it almost pre-requisite that you have a sex tape? Hence, what scandal?

2. Ever notice whenever a star has something to promote that they miraculously induce some media circus over some controversy? Which leads me to...

3. Kendra's new fitness DVD. After a three page spread on her "Sex Tape Scandal," there is a two page promotional spread for her new DVD which, drum roll please, is part of the Us Weekly Fitness series.

This "scandal" is nothing more than a thinly cloaked PR/promotional stunt. It's dressed so poorly it really belongs in the "Fashion Police" section.

Next we have Mylie Cyrus and the "Things She Hates." Starting with Glee she says, "Honestly, musicals? I just can't." What's the matter Mylie? Are you too "rock star" for musicals? By the way, we all know your music is digitally enhanced, and even then you don't sound as good as this cast, so I think you should zip it. Next we move on to Jay-Z. "I've never heard a Jay-Z song." I'm no music expert, but I'm thinking Jay-Z is not a guy to be dismissed, especially by a 17 year old who's music is written by her dad. Then there's Rob Pattison and Twilight. "I don't believe in it...I don't like it." Girlfriend, if you finished high school you would know it's called fiction and you're not supposed to believe in it. Secondly, I'm sure you don't like it because judging from this line up your giving, you don't like anything that is equally if not more successful than you. Lastly, we have Mylie on Twitter. "I think Twitter should be banned from the universe." Well, no one has accused you of being a PR genius (or any type of genius for that matter), but any knucklehead in your position should understand that Twitter is a cool tool to connect with your fan base. Somebody, PLEASE take this girl's ungracious sassy pants and gag tie her with them. P.S. you're not in an 80's punk band, lose the spiked collar.

Other notables in this issue include coverage of Tom Cruise's performance at the MTV movie awards. I haven't seen it yet, but it sounds like it was hilarious. Searching for this performance on YouTube will also make my to-do list this week. Would you believe the past two issues have had pictures of Kristen Stewart smiling? Say it isn't so! After launching a megahit movie franchise and allegedly landing Mr. Pattison, it really was time for her to cheer up. Also, somebody call the cops! The Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky ate some pizza and pasta and now wants to lose fifteen pounds. You and half the world babe...this is not news. Moving on...

Ahhhhhh, Bradley Cooper. So easy on the eyes. I think he looks like Patrick Dempsey in this picture. Although if you move down to his neck...EWE! Dude, it's vampire movies that are hot, not werewolves...shave your neck!

And that is it. I normally like to change things up a bit rather than do two Us Magazine entries in a row, but it was the lowest hanging fruit in terms of material and I really do want to get up two posts a week. The last week of school is upon us! Once everyone is out, lord knows when I'll find time to write anything, but even so, I'm ready to have everyone home and start really enjoying the summer months. Hope you're looking forward to it too!

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