Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Business of Father Time

Greetings peeps! I know, I know, I have been crazy absentee. The past few weeks have been nuts as many of you moms can sympathize. Apparantly there are some nazi bloggers out there who say you need to write consistently two to three times a week. My thought is, until it pays the bills, it's called a hobby and doesn't always make it to the top of the to do list. Well, that and the past three issues of Us Magazine didn't give me anything I was really excited to write about (clearly the first sign of the apocolypse). The real source of my problem though is Father Time. If he were on Facebook I would totally "unfriend him"(or at least provide justification for a "dislike" button). That being said, it is time to put Father Time in the hot seat.

Now bear in mind, when it's all said and done, I'm a business girl . I appreciate making a deal, creating "win win" situations, and am all about my customer. Father Time clearly has not gone to business school. If he were on The Apprentice...color him fired. Here's what I'm talking about.

Economics 101 - The basic laws of supply and demand. Hellooooooooo! We're dying down down here (I say "down here" because I have this vision of Father Time being some God like figure watching over us...perhaps I give him too much credit?). If your customer is demanding more you're supposed to increase supply and create some sort of balance. We are screaming with demand, but yet you give us nothing. Don't give us the daylights savings schpeal either, because you may give us an hour, but then you yank it right back...totally doesn't count. Not only is this unfair, it's just confusing. Do I turn the clocks, forward, backward, how the H E double L am I going to get my infant to sleep past 5 a.m. in this scenerio? Just make it straight forward, give us more. We need it, we want it, throw us a bone. If the makers of Zhu Zhu Pets can figure out supply and demand, so can you.

Making the Deal / Creating the Win Win - It's time to get a power meeting on with Mother Nature. As time marches on, why must we decompose? Time to renegotiate. Frankly, it's a no brainer. You give us more time and in direct proportion Mother Nature slows the aging process. If you want to get really ambitious you can throw a little "Curious Case of Benjamin Button," in there. You know, have us age backward so we get younger as time goes on. Be creative! Great ideas don't have to be confined to fiction, get on it! Make it happen! It worked for Apple and Google, it can work for you.

The Monopoly - Three words. Don't go there. Oh sure, you may think you have control over it all, nobody can touch you, and we all have to put up with you and your sub-par product, but it usually doesn't end well. If you want to take what I'm talking about out for a test drive, go to a crowded cocktail party and mention the word "Comcast." amongst a group of men and watch the disgruntled sparks fly. Then watch the sunshine appear as people talk about how they LOOOOOOVE their Verizon. I'm just saying I think there could be a Verizon to your Comcast. Who's with me in developing "Mother Time Efficiency?" I've got ten bucks that says we can develop a far superior product that people will love! Why would we put time in the hands of of a man anyway? They have four hours and they play a round of golf. Women have four hours and we clean the house, plan an event, make two meals, chauffeur to two activities while simultaneously returning phone calls. Look out Father Time, we're going after your market share!

And there it is. I'm off to tackle the to do list that doesn't have the decency to take Sunday off. Then we're going to celebrate our nephew's college graduation. Hard to believe he was only ten years old when I met him. Whether it's managing to do's or watching your family grow up, it really all boils down to time and it's value. Cherish your time and more importantly the people you spend it with. Have a great day everyone!

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